Throughout my life, I have tried so many things. Spoken-word, writing, I once owned a fruit salad business with a friend then, later on, we opened a printing business. My partner started doing design and I started photography. I also forgot the part where I started swimming with the hope that I would one day be participating in the 2016 Olympics.
I started all these things, but somewhere along the journey of life, I dropped them. It is only photography that I held on to for so long.
Today, while at work I wondered why I stopped doing all these things yet in some way, I needed them to make the work that I do today, actually work.
Spoken word would have made me a better public speaker in some way, writing would have enabled me to write better proposals and hundreds of blogs. The businesses that my partner and I started would have made us understand what business was and not the euphoria that we thought it would be. Swimming would have kept me fit and energetic to keep up with all that life would have thrown at me.
It is right at this moment that I realise that I should have held on in all that storm of activity. I should have kept working at those things bit by bit, day in day out.
There is an air of regret as I write this post. I wish I would have known, I wish I had been guided better. I wish I was not distracted by the need to fulfil other peoples dreams. I wish I had known that what I was doing was enough because while doing all this I never felt enough.
As I stand here and look back at all I have done with my art. I feel proud of the person that I have become. My art has broken me severely and yet with every heartbreak I still sit down and try to put the pieces together and get moving. Every heartbreak feels like death but deep inside there is a small burst of life.
I want to go back and open closed doors. I want to go back and unearth buried dreams. I want to go back and resurrect.